Yesterday, you became cool. Well, actually Monday you made the life decision...we just geared you up yesterday. Now the question is 'Why the Mizzou bandwagon?'. First of all, to have a bandwagon, a team must blow for a long time. Check. There has to be a quick turn around of success (less than 4yrs after sucking). Check. There also has to be a good chance of that success sustaining itself. Check. See, the largest of bandwagons; Red Sawx, Patriots, Cubs, Tampa Bay Rays, Celtics, USC, Notre Dame, and Duke all sucked for a long time before success came. Hell, with the Rays, this is the only time in their history they haven't sucked a fat one.
For bandwagoning purposes, I know it's hard to believe, but Mizzou was actually good for awhile. That 'awhile' was in the 60's, when my parents were in high school smoking joints to Foghat Simon and Garfunkel. Actually, our '07 season has been compared to, well...just watch this video. And yeah, that's Harry Caray doing PxP for the Tigers. Gross.
Before that, the 'awhile' was in the 1930's. Don Faurot was the coach then, and that was so long ago that Mother Nature was dating Father Time. Needless to say, we sucked for a long time.
Times have changed, and Mizzou is becoming dominate. That's why this bandwagon has more people on it than Sleezy's ex.
There have been some ups and downs over the years, and really, a shitload more downs. Since you started to claim that you've been a Mizzou fan for life on Monday, I'll throw a couple of bones your way. Since we sucked for awhile, I'm going to limit this thing to only games in the post-1990 era that you need to know about in Mizzou's football past.
-5th Down (1990). It even has it's own Wikipedia page. Plainly, we got screwed, which could be Mizzou's motto. The Colorado Prairie Cows got an extra down, and Mizzou got effed. Pretty simple, but on the 5th down, Colorado scored. Colorado was ranked 12th in the country, and was about to lose on the road to Mizzou. Then it happened. Game over.
-Flea Kicker (1997). Another Wikipedia page dedicated to destroying me. I remember watching this while in high school. I was born to hate the Huskers, and I'm sure part of being bred that way has put me in Omaha now. Karma, you skank, you. Mizzou up on the #1 Cornies at home 38-31. Corby Jones was on fire all game. On a 4th down, Scott Frost tosses a lame duck rope (the only one I've ever seen) to Shevin Wiggins, who boots the ball to Matt Davidson. Touchdown Cornies. Remote meets TV in the Big Head house. Years later, now in Omaha, I got to Frost's bar wearing a Mizzou jersey. Frost comes up, sits down, and buys me a beer. Sucks because the bar kicked ass, and Frost was a nice guy...not the deuschbag I was hoping for so I could trash his bar. Matt Davidson, on the other hand, haunts me like three-week-old Chinese food. He is the color commentator on any radio/TV sports programming all over this damn state. I hate you.
-Texas (2005). Sleezy and I were in attendance for this one. There was some hope that Mizzou would pull off the big upset at home. Texas came in ranked 2nd in the nation, and Brad Smith was having a pretty good senior year. Vince Young took Mizzou by the balls and dismantled us after playing a close game in the first 20mins. Adam Crossett shit the bed and missed an XP, and it was downhill after that. Not in anyone's "Top 10 Losses", but this game had promise.
-Sun Bowl (2006). I hate even thinking about this game. Mizzou, up big on Oregon State in the Whatever shitty kinda cologne sponsored it Sun Bowl (Brut?) decided to lay down and die. After a Chase to Chase TD with six minutes left in the game (and up by 14), the wheels came off quicker than a Cutlass in Compton at midnight. Oregon State scored a couple of touchdowns, and then scored the two point conversion with 23 seconds left. Booze filled night of defeat ensues.
Alright, enough with the bad. Let's throw in a few good ones.
-Huskers ('03/'05/'07). Mizzou hadn't defeated the Huskers since...well...a long freakin' time going into the 2003 game. Brad Smith carved up the Blackskirts like a Thanksgiving Day Turkey in both 2003 and 2005. 2005 was my first year living in Omaha, so that win was extra sweet. 2003 was great because it was really revenge for all the smoke jobs the Cornies had put on us. In 2007, Big Head and poppa Big Head in attendance and housed, Mizzou smokes the Huskers 41-6. In one of the greatest plays I've seen, only because of the big 'fuck you' to Nebraska, Martin Rucker runs in a fake FG for a touchdown while Mizzou was up 34-6. Put it on the board. 41-6. Callahan being canned talk began.
-Indy Bowl '05. Mizzou down big, comes back to take the soul of South Carolina. Mizzou looked worse in the first half than my dog did after that F-10 hit it. My dog and the Tigers were both a huge mess, but Pinkel actually cleaned up the Tigers at the half. Brad Smith comes out en fuego, and lights out in this one. Even after ESPN decided to declare this game over, the Tigers came back for the 38-31 win.
-Armaggedon '07. Long sharing the same outhouse in the Big 12 North, kU and Mizzou played in one of the most hyped games in college football's recent memory. Saturday night. ABC. Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. kU ranked #2 after dismantling cupcakes gets dominated in a game that looks closer than what it ended up being. Sod Reesing is born. 36-28 Mizzou. And the Tigers were ranked #1 in the nation the next day. My Victory Whiskey hangover went away on Wednesday.
-Cotton Bowl '08. After getting blasted by OU in the B12 Title Game, the BCS decided to screw Mizzou. The Tigers defeated Illannoy, who received the Rose Bowl (promptly blown out), and beat Kansas in the Jayhawks' only game against a non-panzee all season. Both kU and Illinoize went to BCS games. Instead, Mizzou drew Arkansas, and promptly beat them worse than Lawrence Phillips does his girlfriend. Tony Temple set the CB record for rushing. Yes, even Pat Summerall hadn't seen that many yards in the Cotton Bowl...and he set Adam and Eve up back in the day.
Most of the positive games are in the past four years. That's why you're on this bandwagon; recent success. So now you're geared and you know a few games to not sound like an absolute idiot at Booches. What else is left? You'll find out tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Why the Mizzou Bandwagon?
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15 comments:
Tony T had the Sun Bowl record as well... until he went backwards for a couple yards and lost it.
The Flea-Kicker has to probably be my first memory of Mizzou football... how I somehow managed to become a fan after that, I'll never know.
My dad and I went to the Independence Bowl in '05 and that will live on as one of my favorite sports memories of all time. Especially when we were leaving the stadium and listening to all those Cock-suckers (see what I did there?) talk about how amazing Brad Smith is and how he fucking dominated them, which he did.
The '05 Texas game makes me sick to my stomach. It was 14-13 Texas because Crossett couldn't hit a fucking extra-point to save his life (how he managed to not shit the bed against Iowa State later that year I will never know) and Mizzou had Texas at third and thirty-something and goddamn Vince Young ran out the first down. God I hate that guy.
The Tejas game is hugely underrated in it's kick-to-nuts ability. Sleezy and I were there (me destroyed after drinking a case of beer and most of a case of warm Pepsi Lime), and we had high hopes. So did everyone else...except that Mizzou defense.
I totally spaced on the Sun Bowl record. I think I remember the announcers saying that now, so thanks for jarring that one.
Sleezy was at the Indy Bowl, and was a total dick by rubbing it in that he was there. He was on his way to San Angelo and decided to stop for the game. Jagoff.
Foghat wasn't a band in the 60's. You're better than that. There first album didn't come out until '72.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foghat
Man, why do you have to rain on my parade Anon?!
Fixed with separate joint toke along band.
Bandwagon?
Whose on the bandwagon?
The first year we beat Nebraska in a long time was 2003, not 2005. How can you have a Mizzou blog and make that big of a blunder? There are even youtube videos by ZouDave and another Mizzou fan that explicitly say 2003.
2003: 41-24
2005: 41-24
2007: 41-6
Good stuff...
I'd almost say the '04 Texas game was worse. Mizzou had Texas on the ropes IN AUSTIN. Mizzou fought back from an early 14-0 deficit, and had all the momentum in the fourth quarter until a Tantarelli missed PAT left Mizzou down 28-20 killed the momentum and Brad couldn't get it back once he got the ball again.
But that was gut-wrenching. The '05 game was a full-out nut stomp.
I agree with head that 05 texas sucked the big one. There is nothing like feeling this may be the time, then BOOM, you are reminded that you are mizzou again.
A quick note to all bandwagon fans, don't get to cocky about Mizzou's chances. That would show you are a dead giv-a-way for a 'fake' fan. True MU fans are scared shitless that it will all come crumbling down
s dub,
TT was a man beast in bowl games. He shredded Oregon State and Arky. Those 2 games together equalled half a season's worth of yards
One game maybe worth including is the 1997 Mizzou/Oklahoma State game that the Tigers pulled out in OT 51 - 50, just 'cause it was the game that turned the corner for the rest of the season.
The flea kicker game is still the best and worst sports memory of my life, and being at Faurot was just awesome and terrible....
I was writing at work and had a so many years of games going through my head. It's fixed. I had actually put the '03 game in to write about by itself, and I ended up actually having to do some work and come back to it. Started off thinking about the '05 game and had a brain fart. Actually, probably brain pooped...couldn't hold it in.
Anyone taking 41 again this year?
im feeling a 35. my super way to early prediction is 35-21. A solid 2 TD win in Lincoln. That way I can quit hearing about the "30 years" BS. I hope to god MU wins. Plus then going into the 09 season we can tell all these nubs fans, you havnt won at the Zou in 8 years
I was at the Indy Bowl in 05. I was sitting front row in the Mizzou section. I bought it off a scalper in the parking lot. There were so many Mizzou hotties!!! There was this real ass-clown walking up and down the stairs saying that we dont know how to play football in Missouri. Boy was he wrong. The Cock-suckers shit the bed after that and Brad Smith dominated.
There were so many fucking Cock-suckers at that game, too. I've never personally had anything against the University of South Carolina before that game... but so many redneck douchebags just made me want to wish genocide on anybody who regularly uses the phrase "Git'R'Done"... not that I didn't already wish that. I even saw one Cock-sucker with a sign that had Dane Cook quotes on it that had nothing to do with anything... What the fuck?
Surprised that Larry the Cable Guy came up with "Git-R-Done" in Nebraska? Nope, me neither.
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