Brian Coulter Facts

According to TB, Mizzou has released a new picture of JUCO walk-on god, Brian Coulter:

After doing some research on Coulter, there are somethings that I found pretty interesting:

-Brian Coulter is the reason Michael J Fox shakes.
-Brian Coulter once took a dump, and Gary Coleman was born.
-Since Missouri allows concealed weapons, Brian Coulter has to wear a cup 24/7.
-Brian Coulter doesn't sleep on the ground. The ground attaches to Brian Coulter's back for heat.
-Brian Coulter doesn't wear a helmet. He uses a '68 VW Bug.
-Brian Coulter is the only one that knows why Manhattan smells like a tire fire.
-Brian Coulter actually does piss excellence.
-The Berlin Wall didn't fall because of German politics. It fell because no wall could hold Brian Coulter.
-Brian Coulter doesn't have a MySpace because everything, everywhere is his space.
-'Deadliest Catch' is what happened when a JUCO running back caught a screen pass in front of Brian Coulter. It's only happened once.
-The new state animal of Missouri? Brian Coulter.
-Brian Coulter makes Malcolm X look like Wayne Brady.
-Brian Coulter put Jayhawks into extinction. (And you thought they were a mythical shoe-bird?)
-The Sun was created after Brian Coulter decided to end a kickball game in 4th grade.
-Brian Coulter uses the Ark of the Covenant as a coffee table.
-Brian Coulter doesn't separate shoulders. Shoulders separate in fear.
-Terry Tate, Office Linebacker is based on Brian Coulter. When he sleeps.
-Brian Coulter puts 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
-Brian Coulter makes onions cry.
-Brian Coulter can't grow a beard because hair doesn't grow on steel.
-Only one person has a larger head than Big Head: Brian Coulter.

Intriguing stuff. And you thought expectations weren't high?